Facing the Facts

Junior Kristen Jorgensen never thought that she would become a mother at age 16, but if she’s learned anything, it’s that surprises happen.

She never looked down on other girls who became pregnant at young ages. “My mom and my sister were both teen moms, so I have an understanding, and so do they,” she said.

“It was a complete shock when it happened,” said Jorgensen. She was about eight weeks along.

After missing her period, she knew. Right away she “took two [pregnancy tests],” and after confirming that they were both positive, Jorgensen “was very excited…but reality set in.” For a time the junior was completely alone in her knowledge of the situation. She realized what was about to happen.

“Oh, no,” she thought to herself. “Everything is going to be flipped and turned around in a short amount of time.” She was met with mixed feelings after that. “It’s always a blessing, a baby,” she said, but the question of how she would tell her parents arose.

Jorgensen’s boyfriend, Sayeg Mareno, was the first to find out. “He was so happy,” she said, but the situation became stressful as reality set in for him as well, and as time went on. A freshman in college, he originally went to school in Columbus, Neb., but moved back to Omaha to live with his parents and attend Metropolitan Community College after learning of Jorgensen’s pregnancy.

After telling her boyfriend, Jorgensen knew that the next step was her parents. But they wouldn’t be so easy. Telling her mom and sister wasn’t difficult (both were teen mothers themselves, so they were understanding), but Jorgensen waited three months to disclose her pregnancy to her dad. At first, he thought it was a joke. “I told him the day before New Year’s. It was definitely a shock for him,” she said.

“It’s taken him months to get over it,” she added. The men in her family were hostile toward Mareno after finding out about the pregnancy, and only recently have they begun to accept it.

“There’s nothing I can do—there’s nothing I will do—to get rid of the fact that I am pregnant,” Jorgensen said gently yet firmly. Terminating the pregnancy never crossed her mind.

After Jorgensen’s parents, Mareno’s mother and father were informed of the situation. Initially, his family was very upset. “His mom cried,” Jorgensen said, “and I didn’t know what to do.” She added that his parents seemed to hold him more responsible, since he is older than Jorgensen by two years. Fathering a child is a huge, life-altering responsibility, and “they just want the best for him,” Jorgensen said. “But it takes two.”

Luckily, both Mareno and Jorgensen’s parents were supportive, and Jorgensen has grown much closer to her mother. “Through this whole entire situation, she’s become my best friend,” she said, “but still a mom at the same time.”

Perspective & Changes

“People’s reactions to me [surprised me]. I was definitely an innocent person…I never did anything wrong, never got in trouble. I never really did badly in school.” Peers told her that they never would have suspected her to become pregnant. And she never expected it, either.

Naturally a positive person, Jorgensen has chosen to make the best of her situation.

“Of course I wish I would have waited,” she said, “but now that I look at it, I have to be positive about it. I can’t [be] negative.”

“She’s not a mistake, or a regret at all…things happen for a reason, and this is definitely a positive reason. I may not know exactly why it happened, but I know that in the end I will understand,” Jorgensen said.

Being from a family with a history of young mothers, Jorgensen has found comfort in the knowledge that “it’s possible to be a success and not a failure…There have been successful people [who have come] from being a teen mom.” She intends to be one of those women.

“I’m scared about being alone in this situation, although I know I will never be…when I look back at it, I have the best support system.”

Additionally, the junior has been surrounded by children from a young age, and feels a natural inclination toward kids. Her sister (who became pregnant at 17) lived with the family when she had her kids, so Jorgensen helped out with her nieces and nephews. Despite close contact with her sister, the soon-to-be mother didn’t know quite how much being pregnant can change a person.

“I knew [I] wouldn’t feel great all the time, and that [my] body would change, emotions, hormones and everything,” she said. “You kind of act like a different person.”

“Your life is twisted and turned and messed around completely, almost like a Rubik’s cube,” she added. “It’s completely changed and you can’t expect it to be the same. High school is somewhat taken away from you.” The junior does not feel that her freedom has been stifled, though (“I didn’t really do anything anyways,” she admitted).

Overall, Jorgensen hasn’t lost her positivity, and her excitement for the arrival of her baby has never dimmed. “I was really worried about stretch marks and my body changing,” she said, “but in the end it’s kind of worth it…In the end, it’s your little one that you get to watch grow up, watch them do everything that you did when you were little.”

Day by Day

The junior is no stranger to discomfort. She’s faced cravings, morning sickness, maternity clothing and awkward hallway encounters, as well as everyday aches and pains that come with carrying a child.

“A lot of people want to be your friend when you’re pregnant,” she said—but this isn’t always a positive thing. While she understands the curiosity, Jorgensen detests strangers who approach her and touch her without permission.

“I don’t like when random people touch me,” she said. It happens “quite a bit.”

“It’s so uncomfortable,” she added. “I just want to smack people…I just walk away…I don’t blame them for being interested in it…it is exciting, it’s kind of neat. I understand why.”

In addition, her appetite has changed, and her sweet tooth has become increasingly apparent. “I crave chocolate all the time,” Jorgensen said. “Sometimes I crave pickles.” Her love for Chinese food has disappeared, and now causes nausea. “Now I can’t stand it. It’s disgusting.”

Jorgensen said her baby “likes to kick [my bladder]…or sometimes she’ll kick my lungs.” These result in frequent bathroom visits and shortness of breath. Her baby also seems to like placing her head right in the middle of Jorgensen’s ribcage, which causes a lot of pressure.

Maternity clothing is “ridiculously expensive.” She has been able to get away with wearing normal pants, but has to buy maternity shirts.

The junior also has to be careful about exercising because “My blood pressure can’t go over a certain amount,” she said, so sticks to walking.

“It is nice to have the elevator pass…I take advantage of it,” she said.

The Future

“My plan is to go to college and finish high school, and not go through independent study,” Jorgensen declared. “I’m staying in high school. I have a job, I work, I save money.” While not completely solid yet, she has a rough plan for the future. For now, Jorgensen is opting to wait until her baby arrives to make any concrete decisions. Her plans have more or less stayed the same: finish high school, go to college in Omaha and eventually move out.

As far as her boyfriend is concerned, the two have recognized the difficulties that they will face when (and after) the baby arrives. “I would like to say I see a future [together]…no one knows the outcome…I definitely don’t know the future. I hope we’re still together by then, and I hope we can stay together,” Jorgensen said. “That’s a lot of work, a baby and a relationship.”

But she and Mareno won’t be alone. Coincidentally, Jorgensen’s mom stays at home to look after her younger siblings. She occasionally assists with Jorgensen’s sister’s child as well. “My mom will be watching [my baby] while I’m at school and while I’m at work,” Jorgensen said. “[The baby] will switch off between my boyfriend’s family and my family.”

The pregnancy “definitely puts a bigger speed bump in my life,” she added, “but it’s nothing that I can’t get over.”