It is currently day 11 of COVID-19 quarantine, and nothing too interesting to report. I’ve been able to keep myself quite busy. I’ve written a play, learned a few songs on the ukulele, read plays, and kept up with my studies. As an extraverted person, all I want to do is be with my friends. I hurt for all of my friends who will never get the joys of their senior year, and those who have to make difficult decisions about college without being informed. Never in my life have I experienced a time of such global uncertainty.
Never before have I craved bad take out, AP World History class, or hugs. I’ve been sick for about a week, which has prevented me from exercising at all. I feel kind of useless. My usual schedule is jam-packed, without a spare minute. I am finding it hard to be alone with my thoughts for the first time in a long time. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I will learn about myself, how to better connect with the people around me. But for now, I just feel sad. I miss my friends, my boyfriend, my theatre, my journalism staff.
I have watched my biggest accomplishments being taken away from my day, after day. This has happened so much recently, that I feel like a skittish dog. I am afraid of being too attached to events because I am afraid that they will be taken away. The worst part is none of my peers are in a position to comfort each other, because they are grieving themselves. I feel like in isolation, I have lost a little part of myself. Before all of this started, I vowed that I would try to stay off the technology and be more mindful of face-to-face interaction with others. I didn’t see any of this coming. Now, my phone is my only tether to the outside world. Too much screen time is making me feel depressed. If given the chance between no communication, and faux communication, I think I’d choose the former. But for now, I am attempting to stay sane by igniting my creativity, taking it slow, and savoring the little things in life.