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Letter to past self: pushing through
November 17, 2021
Dear Past Self,
I guess I am writing this one more for the present me than for past me, I need to clear my head. This week was rough. I woke up every morning not wanting to go to school. I could not shake off the feeling of being exhausted and it was a battle to get any work done. This was not the first week like this I have had during my high school journey, and I fear it will not be my last. My advice to you is to work through it.
I may be a hypocrite for saying this, because in the past I have given up but that only means that I know it is true. Even doing one piece of homework is better than shutting down and doing none. This week I would come home for school, and I wanted to fall asleep, some days I did. Then I woke up and I chose the most important piece of homework I needed to get done and I did it. Sometimes that led to me doing more and others that was all I was able to get done and I took that as a win.
During those hard weeks or days, it is easy to think “it would be so much less work if I would just stop, stop doing my work, stop trying” and that is true, it would be easier, but it would make those great days fewer.
High school is hard. I have struggled ever year to keep my head afloat, to stay motivated, to find the energy to keep pushing. But every once and a while I have those really great days or moments and that is what keeps me motivated. I have memories of getting a paper or test back with a four on it and becoming excited because I could see my hard work paid off. Now I am the first to admit that sometimes that is not enough but sometimes it is.
I will never shy away from the fact that high school is tough and wanting to be a good student with good grades can feel like an unwinnable battle but that is when you must take in the small victories. I got a four on a Spanish test today and that victory allowed me to stay motivated at school. So, although it can be really difficult work through those hard days. Take it one day at a time.
I had no idea what I was going to write for this article. This letter was not my original plan. I was not motivated to write this, and I have been procrastinating doing it all week but then a memory of my dad reading my first column I wrote this year popped into my brain. He told me it was good, I small simple statement that was my small victory. I held on to it and now that small statement gave me the motivation to do my work.
This week was bad for me, but I made it through. All those battles you face with finding the will and motivation to do your work will soon be a memory if you work through them.