Letting go of expectations to experience creativity

All my life my mother has told me to write a journal. When she went to the craft store to buy paint I would walk along the aisles, dreaming about being an artist using every ounce of supplies in the store.
I would somehow end up in the aisle with random trinkets, including colorful journals. The trip would end with me begging my mom for a new one when the last one she bought me was at home untouched.
I cleaned out my closet this past winter and found a drawer of empty journals with maybe a page or two written in each. I had always tried to journal, but it just never stuck with me.
I did not want to waste time writing down my feelings in a book. I did not feel I could fill the page and often had nothing to write about, so it slipped my mind.
This past summer, I found myself in a different boat. Maybe I had finally grown up enough to put my thoughts to paper, or maybe I just was finally bored enough.
This time though, I barely wrote about how I was feeling. I finally let go of all my expectations and just filled the pages with my heart. Random drawings and words, quotes from people I admired, even cutouts from magazines. I loved cutting old papers and receipts and taping them to the pages as background.
I spent the summer journaling my way. I took it with me to work and journaled when I could. I was finally someone who journaled, just as my mother had wanted.
This journal is now filled and twice as big as the one I started with, but it is one of my prized possessions from my 16-year-old self. I filled it with not only drawings but different papers and stickers.
I am a firm believer that something to be proud of must be made of blood, sweat, and tears. It must be something you did not enjoy, but something you pushed through to gain experience or knowledge. However, I experienced nothing but joy while creating this journal and I am very proud of it.
Because of school, tennis and work I am without the free time I once enjoyed. I journal less and less as the days go on, but it is one of my favorite creative outlets for my mental health. I hope to pick it up again when summer comes around and recommend to all students to journal their way